What have I done?
by Washingtonian
Summary: Summary: Bella hurt Alice by telling a secret which she swears never to speak of again but it's too late. Someone knows already, Bella not wanting to loose her friend apologizes and waits for her friend to talk to her. WARNING! NOT A HAPPY ENDING! Rated M for suggestiveness


**Hey all. I'm just writing this one-shot for a dear friend of mine who I hurt horribly. I don't deserve to be forgiven and truly I kind of hope she doesn't. If your reading this, I'm sorry for saying what I did and I promise you that I won't bother you until you decide to talk to me again. You are an amazing friend and I don't deserve you at all and I hope this shows how much I care for you and how sorry I am for hurting you and your trust with me.**

Summary: Bella hurt Alice by telling a secret which she swears never to speak of again but it's too late. Someone knows already, Bella not wanting to loose her friend apologizes and waits for her friend to talk to her. **WARNING! NOT A HAPPY ENDING!**

**Little bit of a songfic cause we all know how much I love those. "When she cries" by Brit Nicole.**

BellaPOV

I did it now. I have been forgiven so many times by her and I did the most horrible thing possible. No I didn't hurt her physically, but I did mentally and emotionally, and this time I don't know if she will ever forgive me. I've left voicemails, tried to catch her in school, tried to give her messages but I hurt her too much. She never has gotten this mad at me, even when I made fun of her height. I am 5'6" and she is 5'2" to normal people it isn't much of a difference but to me it is. Especially since she is older than I am. I remember when I first met Alice.

_Flashback_

_It's 8th grade year, I see my other friend Rosalie and she waves me over to sit next to her on the bleachers. When I get close I see a little jumpy thing with short blackish brown hair sitting or vibrating next to her._

_"Hey Rose." I say when I sit down next to my best friend. "Whose your friend?" I say nodding to the girl on the other side of her. She looks at me and smiles._

_"Oh that's my other friend Alice. Alice," she calls to her friend whose just drawing some sort of person/animal it looks like. "Alice, this is my other friend Bella. Bella, this is Alice." I nod at Alice._

_"Nice to meet you Alice." I stretch my hand over to shake her hand, which she does._

_"Likewise." She smiles at me, and then she goes back to drawing._

_"Whatcha drawing?" Like I said before it's a person/animal thing. I have no idea anymore. Ever since I moved I questioned peoples sanity around here. Glad I'm not like that, and I never will._

_"Isn't it fluffy? It's a boy who has a bear paw for a hand along with some massive claws! He could kill you or just make you orgasm with one look!" I never thought it was possible for someone to bounce so much. I. Was. Wrong. Period._

_"It sure is!" I say smiling with her. I don't know what but just being around this girl just makes me want to smile._

_Flashback ends_

That was the first time I met Alice. We became like sisters and she trusted me with the most important secret in her life. It could end her life if anyone in her family knew and I almost blew it. I said a little tiny detail to a mutual friend of ours and he guessed it. I felt horrible as soon as something came out of my mouth. Now I'm paying for it. Alice found out and flipped out. She didn't get a chance to on me though because I have avoided her since I found out she knew. I borrowed a book of hers and I gave it to someone who saw her so I didn't have to face her and probably start crying again. That's right crying AGAIN. When I got home from the day I found out about her knowledge I ran to my room and bawled like a baby for hours. Who knew one little mistake could hurt so much? Oh, wait I did because a similar thing happened to me when I was little and I haven't talked to my old friend ever since because it happened right before I moved. She told the worst gossiper of school and I had to skip the last day of school for "packing" but it was because I didn't want to face anyone. Not only have I felt the pain, I have dealt it. Now I'm going to try to make Alice understand my feelings and hopefully I will feel a bit better but I know I don't deserve to. I did a horrible thing and don't deserve her friendship. So she is at this little store in the Port Angeles mall which we always went to and there is a little spot to perform outside in the food court. It's a talent show today and Alice likes to make fun of the horribly talented people. So I have this song that I found that I think suits her.

As I walk unto the stage I see her and I put my ipod in an outlet to start the song, I know she sees me and probably is looking at me with disdain. I hope she stays to listen.

_Little girl terrified  
>She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal<br>A home is no place to hide  
>Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels<em>

_Every day's the same  
>She fights to find her way<br>She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
>She wonders why<br>Does anyone ever hear her when she cries?_

_Today she's turning sixteen  
>Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile<br>They never get past arms length  
>How could they act like everything is alright?<br>She's pulling down her long sleeves  
>To cover all the memories that scars leave<br>She says, "... maybe making me bleed will be the answer that could wash the slate clean"  
><em>

_Every day's the same  
>She fights to find her way<br>She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
>She'll be just fine, does anyone hear her when she cries<em>

_This is the dark before the dawn  
>The storm before the peace<br>Don't be afraid 'cause seasons change and  
>God is watching over you<br>He hears you_

_Every day's the same  
>She fights to find her way<br>She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
>She'll be just fine, cause I know he hears her when she cries<em>

_Every day's the same  
>She fights to find her way<br>She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray  
>She'll be just fine, cause I know he hears her when she cries<em>

_She'll be just fine, cause I know he hears her when she cries_

I am crying at the very end and I can't bear to look at Alice so I run out of there and I get into my car and drive home. Once I get there I jump to my bed and start to cry again. After about a hour I get a text on my phone.

_"I don't forgive you. You told someone my secret when you told me you wouldn't. I can never trust you again. Nice try, and goodbye Isabella." _~Alice

I try not to cry but I don't prevail. I start to cry again, I know I don't deserve any tear I shed because I put this all on myself. I'm so sorry Alice. As I fall into the blackness of unconciousness I think to myself _'What have I done?'_

**I know it isn't very long but I promise you this is a legitimate story except for everything from the song on. But that might happen, you never know. I hope my "Alice" does forgive me but I highly doubt she will. I'm so sorry to my best friend, my sister, and a dear part of my heart.**


End file.
